Be the best you

 This post will be perfect for anyone that is in a transition phase in their life and are struggling to find a true expression of their best selves. As humans… our bodies, minds, likes & dislikes change over time. One thing that never changes is the core of us. So, I would love for you to take a moment & be grateful for the beautiful core that you are.

If you find that you have kind of lost your game, I am here to tell you that it is OK, sometimes we do forget the power that is in us. All we need to do is remember who we really are. I believe that everyone has their own beauty within, sometimes life experiences, wounds & pain are dimming our light but that doesn’t mean the light is not there.

What is style?

Diane Von Furstenberg said “STYLE IS SOMETHING THAT EACH OF US HAS. ALL WE NEED TO DO IS FIND IT”.  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, style is defined as “a distinctive manner of expression, a manner or technique by which something is done, created or performed”. Personally, I am a strong believer in that style is deeply personal and has not got much to do with trends & WHAT’S IN at a moment in time. Style is more than that. It is kind of your signature or handwriting. It is individual & unique. Do you know how they say that EYES ARE THE WINDOW TO THE SOUL? Well…until you or someone takes the time to REALLY LOOK INTO YOUR EYES, you & everyone else will see your appearance, therefore style.

How to find your personal style?

8 Guidelines to help you find your personal style:

 1. Know who you are & dress for that gorgeous you. Like I said above. Take some time to be grateful for the best in you. Think of qualities that make you beautiful & light your soul. Write them down on a piece of paper. Those qualities can be anything you appreciate in you (e.g. kind, honest, bold, strong, empathic, sociable etc). Choose the 3-6 qualities you want to assert the most & draw them vividly in your soul. That is the core of you. For this YOU, you will dress from now on every single morning and for this you, you will shop clothing when you need to.

 2. Wardrobe review. Look in your closet & identify what you have multiples off, what are you wearing over & over again and why? Is it because makes you feel confident, happy & joyful etc? Is it because makes you feel comfortable? Is it because is a job requirement or something that you must wear? Identify what you like and take into consideration why you like it? Think about a colour scheme, fabric, brand, fit, silhouette, cut, hem, length etc. and take all of this into consideration. Choose what brings you joy & reflects the qualities on your list. There are 2 especially important things that you need to know here:

 

• You do not have to fit into any specific trend or fashion current. If you are in love with the 50’s fashion & that is what reflects you best, it’s fine. You are free to do so. But know that YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MIX BITS & PIECES IN ONE. I would advise exploring to make it as personal as possible.
• Observe & note the colour tones that compliment your skin tone. For this, you'll need to determine whether your skin is a warm or cool tone. Cool tone people have pink tones in their skin while warm tone people have more golden & yellow tones. In general warm skin tones will look much better in warn toned colours, while cool skin will look best in cool tone colours. Try this and see it for yourself.

 

 3. Know your body. Get dresses into something really fitted or get naked & look in the mirror. Look at your body carefully and be 100% honest with yourself. What is it that you like & what do you dislike? Obviously…this will determine what you want to accentuate through your style & what you would want to hide to not judge & feel uncomfortable within yourself every second of the day. Body shaming is hitting us from everywhere. Believe me, …you do not want to stare at that or feel it 24/7. Now…everyone’s body is different but there are some guidelines that will help you get a general idea of your body shape & how to dress it better.

 

There are 5 main body shapes and you will need to look at your shoulders, bust, waist & hips measurements:

• hourglass: you are an hourglass shape if your shoulder, bust & hip measurements are the same or close BUT your waist really nips in.
• rectangle: if your shoulder, bust & hip measurements are the same or close BUT your waist does NOT nip in you are a rectangle shape.
• circle/apple: if you are carrying your weight in the middle
• inverted triangle: will be someone that has broad shoulders and/or bust & narrower hips
• triangle/pear: is when your hips are bigger than your upper body (shoulder/bust)

  4.Choose your signature/ go-to style. Now that you know who you are, have gone through your wardrobe, know what you would like to keep & know your body better…It’s time to have fun and create some outfits that will be there every time you need to leave the house in a rush & you don’t have the time to overthink what you put on. Those should be functional & versatile for your lifestyle while expressing the best you. You should be able to wear then for work, shopping, getting throughout your day as well as an evening dinner out.

• TIP:  Incorporate in these little signatures to makes it YOU. I, for example, like to wear some funny stuff from time to time. Like crazy colours & pattern laces, a signature piece of jewellery or accessories. 

 5. Wear what makes you happy: Remember the list with your qualities & have that clear every time you get dressed.

6. Importance of small things. This refers to LINGERIE, SOCK &UNDERGARMENTS. No matter how great your clothes are & bright your smile is. The moment you feel uncomfortable, check your back in the mirror & see the lines of your underwear digging into your skin, that smile will vanish and your style will look so much less put together. Invest time & money in good underwear & undergarments for a confidence boost & have one last thing to worry about when you dress.

  7. If you need to look for inspiration… LOOK FOR FASHION INSPIRATION & NOT A REASON TO HATE YOURSELF. Detach yourself from all the noise & asses the clothing, not the “perfect” model showcasing it, nor the amazing editorial that has been put together by professionals.

 8. Give yourself enough time to shop. Try on different things that you like & stop impulse buying. 

Are you the owner of a full wardrobe and nothing to wear? Well… you’re not the only one. Myself, many of my clients and friends are in the same situation. This is the reason why we are having this blog post.

No. 1 CAUSE of the full closet and nothing to wear syndrome: IRRATIONAL, REACTION or AIMLESS SHOPPING

Solution for the No.1 cause: Pause and question yourself!

1. Do I already have something like this in my wardrobe? If the answer is yes…PUT IT DOWN. 
2. Are these items representative to who I am and my style?
3. Can I find at least 3 situations in my weekly schedule that I’ll be able to wear it to?
4. Can I create at least 5 looks pairing these items with what I already own?
5. Are the items you are about to buy fitting you right now?
6. If therapy shopping is one of your guilty pleasures, pause for a second and think what is the real reason for your shopping? Is buying more clothes and cluttering your closet going to solve the real issue? 

No. 2 CAUSE of the full closet and nothing to wear syndrome: THE CLOSET IS OVERLOADED!!! We can find so many excuses for still hanging on for things that we don’t use anymore…

Solution for the No.2 cause: Purging and organising the closet!!! I know that’s something many of us are not over the moon about. But…think about it. How much easier your life would be with a clean & clear wardrobe? Being able to see everything you own so quickly. The time we would save in the morning while getting dressed and how good it feels when you are and feel put together? So…let’s do this!

Tip: While you are getting through your closet, really question yourself what you like and don’t like about the items you own. This way you’ll get to know yourself better and will be a huge help next time when you’ll go shopping. Besides…it’s a great step forward into finding your unique style.

Organising the closet:

1. Make sure you have enough BASIC PIECES that are a PERFECT FIT for your body shape. Basics are the essentials in order to create quick and great looks. e.g. white/black t-shirts, perfect fit/comfortable jeans, black trousers, black blazer… you got the point.
2. Sort your clothing by type/category and then by colours. This will make it so much easier to see (e.g.) all the red tops you own and stop reaching for the same red top you always do.
3. If you have a small wardrobe will also be very helpful in separating/rotating your spring/summer & autumn/winter clothes. Just store the other season clothing somewhere else. This will give your closet so much breathing space.
4. Try and create some outfits now and have a look if there is anything that is missing. Write it down…write down what you’d like to match that with, next time when you notice something else missing, you’ll just add it to the list. It’s a shopping list. This way you will have it ready for the next time when you are going shopping and you won’t be aimlessly shopping again 😊.